Super True Stories

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Wrinkles the Clown

June 28, 2020

Ah, 2016. It was a simpler time when Americans had nothing to fear but killer clowns.

And that, according to this documentary, is all thanks to Wrinkles the Clown. He’s a 65-year-old Florida man, an internet star gone viral, and a questionable tool parents can use to discipline their children.

When the documentary unmasks its monster like a clumsy episode of Scooby Doo, we’ll question everything we were told, wade through the last third of a very boring documentary waiting for the point, and determine that while most of what we were told about Wrinkles is a lie, that part about him being a tool is certainly true.

Along the way we’ll witness a parade of scared children, from Kayla, a very young girl whose dad has asked Wrinkles to eat her, to Rena, a girl ready to fight Wrinkles with her momma and her dog Halo, to Jarrett, a boy who has been inspired by Wrinkles to get his own creepy clown mask and plastic knife, to Sean, who has stuffed his closet with empty boxes and removed his box spring to reduce the ways Wrinkles can get to him.

We’re also reliving some of our own childhood fears, visiting a “real” clown who doth protest too much about clowns being scary, and bemoaning the lack of positive clown role models for kids these days.  

We were down to clown, but after this documentary that may never happen again. 

We’re suffering through and reporting back on Wrinkles the Clown, available to stream on Hulu.

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Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album