Super True Stories

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Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee

When is a cake a war crime? When it’s made by Sandra Lee, of course.

In her defense, war crimes aren’t her only semi-homemade disasters. She also makes nice lies, nice knock-offs, nice roadkill, and nice orifices.

It’s all enough to give Axel painful flashbacks of having to fawn over the craftiness of that one aunt who brings something creative to the potluck, while Dave is pondering the math on what happens when you combine 70% pre-bought stuff with 30% fresh ingredients and 30% cultural insensitivity.

We’re not going to spoil the ending, but we also learn one heck of an insult.

So grab your copy of Gremlins 2 and any alcohol you’ve managed to hide from Sandra Lee because we're suffering through and reporting back on YouTube clips of Sandra Lee available to stream for free, plus the “Feisty Fiesta” episode of her show available to stream on Amazon Prime.

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

Post-episode stinger features “Quasi Motion” by Kevin MacLeod

 

 

Psychic: A Gift of Grace

Meet Gracie Rae. She's a psychic, an actor (not that the two have ANYTHING AT ALL to do with each other), and the subject of her very own documentary. 

Thrill as Gracie Rae goes out on a limb and guesses that a woman has body image issues. Be astonished to learn a person remembers the name of her grandmother. Be disturbed as Gracie Rae bases a significant amount of her theology on the words of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Along the way, we discuss ghosts, inconsistent drop shadows, canned potatoes, and ego. So. Much. Ego. 

The only thing we agree with Gracie Rae about is that going to her for a psychic reading really would be a last resort. 

Featuring special guest co-host Jaime Hunt, and surprise appearances by Bigfoot, Chuck E. Cheese, and Gracie Rae's acting reel.

We're suffering through and reporting back on Psychic: A Gift of Grace, available to stream on Amazon Prime.

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

Discovering Bigfoot

It's been awhile since we've been to the Church of Bigfoot, but you'll find us in the front row on Easter Sunday!

For today's service, we're headed to the Canadian wilds to frolic with the least skeptical "skeptic" we've ever met as he shows us the most dubious Bigfoot evidence yet. Questionable tree breaks, tree structures, and tracks are par for the Bigfoot course, but this is Canada, and in Canada, Bigfoot whistles, steals apples, and might actually be the Blair Witch. 

Theological discussions ensue as we attempt to reconcile New Testament nature-communing Bigfoot with an Old Testament velociraptor. We find a way to preserve the liturgy, but are then spotted by Daywatchers and forced to sacrifice an academic. 

Guest starring a drone, a ghillie suit, a university professor who should know better, and what kinda appears to be Canadians in black face. (We really wish we were joking on that last one).

Maybe next Easter we'll just stay home.

We're suffering through and reporting back on Discovering Bigfoot, available to stream on Netflix.

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club

This is not the gritty post-apocalyptic Lindsay Lohan reboot featuring Patrick Stewart we had hoped for, but the claws are definitely out!

This is Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club, the beachiest, Greekiest, and weakiest (just go with it) reality show we've ever seen. Thanks, MTV!

Thrill as you witness interchangeable hot people take off their shirts and do interchangeable hot things while a couple 30-somethings who should not be in management encourage everyone to be their hottest and most interchangeable best. 

Also featuring Pannos, the lamest Avengers supervillain, and guest starring Lindsay Lohan's brand (whatever the heck that is). 

We're suffering through and reporting back on the first episode of Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club, currently available to stream for free on YouTube if you look hard enough.

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

Jose Canseco: The Truth Hurts (And So Do His Tweets)

Baseball. It's a sport Axel loves and a yet another sport Dave is pretty sure still exists.

But we're not really talking about baseball here. We're talking about Jose Canseco, and you can't do that without talking about steroids, whistleblowing, Bigfoot, Donald Trump, Jennifer Lopez, bitcoin, aliens from outer space, and ... goats? Yes, goats.

And the only reason we're doing any of that is because we're desperate for attention from Mark McGuire. Are you listening to this Mark? We made this for you, Mark! MARK! 

Join us as we discuss the painful truth and the painful tweets of a man who made a documentary about himself and then somehow won awards for doing so. 

We're suffering through and reporting back on Jose Canseco: The Truth Hurts, available to stream for free for Amazon Prime members.

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

Plum Island Conspiracy with Jesse Ventura

Nothing says "Spring Break!" like an island adventure with Homeland Security and Jesse Ventura. 

Join us as we swear at llamas, hide from the Montauk Monster, check ourselves for Nazi ticks, and ponder the spectacle of Jesse wrestling with a bear. And maybe also a tornado.

Before it's all said and done, we'll also be pondering a government spokesperson's inappropriate rope tricks and abruptly heading to Kansas to stare at a corn field. 

Worst spring break ever? Maybe that's because all this really boils down to is a rehash of Stephen King's The Stand. 

We're suffering through and reporting back on Inside America's Only Foreign Animal Disease Laboratory: Plum Island on YouTube and Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura, Season 2, Episode 1: Plum Island on Vimeo.

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

Episode 37 - Ghost Adventures with Post Malone

We said his name on our podcast three times and now, like a stoned, auto-tuned Beetlejuice, Post Malone is here to hunt some ghosts and help us broaden our appeal to today's youth. This is the episode where we really hit it big with the Millennials! 

As Ghost Adventures says at the beginning of each episode, "There are things in this world that we will never fully understand." Those guys are probably talking about ghosts and the paranormal and such, but after watching this episode, we have questions of our own. Like, "Why does Post Malone not show up until halfway through the episode?" And, "Why come up with a great Dad joke and then not deploy it?" 

And honestly, it's a little hard to focus on Post Malone debunking raccoons and behaving like a relatively normal human being when you have Ghost Hunter Bane, bovine spirits, and Satan himself running around on set. 

Also thrill as two middle-aged men listen to 68 solid minutes of Post Malone music and then come back to share their thoughts on that experience.

Maybe we aren't going to win over the youth after all.

We're suffering through and reporting back on Ghost Adventures Season 19, Episode 17, available to stream on Amazon Prime. We also discuss the deluxe edition of Stoney by Post Malone

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

Episode remix features "June" by BenJaminBanger - find him on Instagram (@BenJaminBanger) and online at http://smarturl.it/hjfi20

Episode 36 - Classic STD Films

We're celebrating Valentine's Day the old fashioned way - with our squared off members and three classic shorts on syphilis! 

Thrill as Don and Betty (DRAPER?!) deal with the fallout from their premarital transgressions - guilt, confusion, frustration, disease, and high school hallway awkwardness all set to the disconcerting sounds of what Amazon describes as "pensive jazz music."

Then meet Tony, the long-lost third Super Mario Brother, who plays accordion while his stillborn child is born. (That might sound like a reference to Nero, but it's not.)

Finally, a pilot pulled from duty due to catching "a germ" serves as a not-so-subtle introduction to the idea that Scandinavians think Americans are a bunch of superstitious idiots. (But hey that was 70 years ago! Bet they don't think that anymore, right? Right??? ... Well, shoot.) 

We're suffering through and reporting back on Classic STD Films, available to stream on for free for Amazon Prime members.

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

Episode 35 - House Hazards

Your house is really out to get you. So say three Canadians from HGTV Canada, and they have the propane-filled air mattresses to prove it.

Our three "experts" go to great lengths to prove the most dangerous things you can own are a bag of flour, a tiki bar, and a ceiling fan, but all they really prove is that the stupid was inside themselves all along. If you really want to be afraid of something, be afraid of these chuckleheads and their air cannon. 

Along the way, we'll take a hard look at our polite neighbor to the north, and ponder whether this terribly lackluster entertainment is the price you pay for things like no one having to go bankrupt for medical care. 

We're suffering through and reporting back on House Hazards, available to stream on for free for Amazon Prime members.

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

Episode 34 - Y2K Survival Guide with Leonard Nimoy

New Year, New Nimoy!

We’re celebrating making it to 2019 by looking back on how we almost didn’t make it through 1999, and our guide on this journey is none other than Hollywood legend Leonard Nimoy.

Well, he starts out as our guide. Then he transports away for 20 minutes while some old prepper dude tells us about chemical toilets and stockpiling potted meat.

Thrill as we learn how lazy computer coders nearly destroyed civilization and turned us into a modern-day Atlantis (Leonard is certain Atlantis is a myth, but death ray technology is open for debate).

Brace yourself as the documentary wildly careens back and forth between insisting our doom is eminent and then assuring us pretty much nothing is going to happen, but then giving the prepper one last shot at telling us we’re screwed, but then here’s Leonard to reassure we’re all okay and hey, have you heard about Atlantis? It’s a myth.  

We're suffering through and reporting back on Y2K Family Survival Guide with Leonard Nimoy, available to stream on YouTube.

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album