Super True Stories

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Discovering Bigfoot

It's been awhile since we've been to the Church of Bigfoot, but you'll find us in the front row on Easter Sunday!

For today's service, we're headed to the Canadian wilds to frolic with the least skeptical "skeptic" we've ever met as he shows us the most dubious Bigfoot evidence yet. Questionable tree breaks, tree structures, and tracks are par for the Bigfoot course, but this is Canada, and in Canada, Bigfoot whistles, steals apples, and might actually be the Blair Witch. 

Theological discussions ensue as we attempt to reconcile New Testament nature-communing Bigfoot with an Old Testament velociraptor. We find a way to preserve the liturgy, but are then spotted by Daywatchers and forced to sacrifice an academic. 

Guest starring a drone, a ghillie suit, a university professor who should know better, and what kinda appears to be Canadians in black face. (We really wish we were joking on that last one).

Maybe next Easter we'll just stay home.

We're suffering through and reporting back on Discovering Bigfoot, available to stream on Netflix.

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Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club

This is not the gritty post-apocalyptic Lindsay Lohan reboot featuring Patrick Stewart we had hoped for, but the claws are definitely out!

This is Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club, the beachiest, Greekiest, and weakiest (just go with it) reality show we've ever seen. Thanks, MTV!

Thrill as you witness interchangeable hot people take off their shirts and do interchangeable hot things while a couple 30-somethings who should not be in management encourage everyone to be their hottest and most interchangeable best. 

Also featuring Pannos, the lamest Avengers supervillain, and guest starring Lindsay Lohan's brand (whatever the heck that is). 

We're suffering through and reporting back on the first episode of Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club, currently available to stream for free on YouTube if you look hard enough.

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

Jose Canseco: The Truth Hurts (And So Do His Tweets)

Baseball. It's a sport Axel loves and a yet another sport Dave is pretty sure still exists.

But we're not really talking about baseball here. We're talking about Jose Canseco, and you can't do that without talking about steroids, whistleblowing, Bigfoot, Donald Trump, Jennifer Lopez, bitcoin, aliens from outer space, and ... goats? Yes, goats.

And the only reason we're doing any of that is because we're desperate for attention from Mark McGuire. Are you listening to this Mark? We made this for you, Mark! MARK! 

Join us as we discuss the painful truth and the painful tweets of a man who made a documentary about himself and then somehow won awards for doing so. 

We're suffering through and reporting back on Jose Canseco: The Truth Hurts, available to stream for free for Amazon Prime members.

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

Plum Island Conspiracy with Jesse Ventura

Nothing says "Spring Break!" like an island adventure with Homeland Security and Jesse Ventura. 

Join us as we swear at llamas, hide from the Montauk Monster, check ourselves for Nazi ticks, and ponder the spectacle of Jesse wrestling with a bear. And maybe also a tornado.

Before it's all said and done, we'll also be pondering a government spokesperson's inappropriate rope tricks and abruptly heading to Kansas to stare at a corn field. 

Worst spring break ever? Maybe that's because all this really boils down to is a rehash of Stephen King's The Stand. 

We're suffering through and reporting back on Inside America's Only Foreign Animal Disease Laboratory: Plum Island on YouTube and Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura, Season 2, Episode 1: Plum Island on Vimeo.

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

Episode 37 - Ghost Adventures with Post Malone

We said his name on our podcast three times and now, like a stoned, auto-tuned Beetlejuice, Post Malone is here to hunt some ghosts and help us broaden our appeal to today's youth. This is the episode where we really hit it big with the Millennials! 

As Ghost Adventures says at the beginning of each episode, "There are things in this world that we will never fully understand." Those guys are probably talking about ghosts and the paranormal and such, but after watching this episode, we have questions of our own. Like, "Why does Post Malone not show up until halfway through the episode?" And, "Why come up with a great Dad joke and then not deploy it?" 

And honestly, it's a little hard to focus on Post Malone debunking raccoons and behaving like a relatively normal human being when you have Ghost Hunter Bane, bovine spirits, and Satan himself running around on set. 

Also thrill as two middle-aged men listen to 68 solid minutes of Post Malone music and then come back to share their thoughts on that experience.

Maybe we aren't going to win over the youth after all.

We're suffering through and reporting back on Ghost Adventures Season 19, Episode 17, available to stream on Amazon Prime. We also discuss the deluxe edition of Stoney by Post Malone

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

Episode remix features "June" by BenJaminBanger - find him on Instagram (@BenJaminBanger) and online at http://smarturl.it/hjfi20

Episode 36 - Classic STD Films

We're celebrating Valentine's Day the old fashioned way - with our squared off members and three classic shorts on syphilis! 

Thrill as Don and Betty (DRAPER?!) deal with the fallout from their premarital transgressions - guilt, confusion, frustration, disease, and high school hallway awkwardness all set to the disconcerting sounds of what Amazon describes as "pensive jazz music."

Then meet Tony, the long-lost third Super Mario Brother, who plays accordion while his stillborn child is born. (That might sound like a reference to Nero, but it's not.)

Finally, a pilot pulled from duty due to catching "a germ" serves as a not-so-subtle introduction to the idea that Scandinavians think Americans are a bunch of superstitious idiots. (But hey that was 70 years ago! Bet they don't think that anymore, right? Right??? ... Well, shoot.) 

We're suffering through and reporting back on Classic STD Films, available to stream on for free for Amazon Prime members.

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

Episode 35 - House Hazards

Your house is really out to get you. So say three Canadians from HGTV Canada, and they have the propane-filled air mattresses to prove it.

Our three "experts" go to great lengths to prove the most dangerous things you can own are a bag of flour, a tiki bar, and a ceiling fan, but all they really prove is that the stupid was inside themselves all along. If you really want to be afraid of something, be afraid of these chuckleheads and their air cannon. 

Along the way, we'll take a hard look at our polite neighbor to the north, and ponder whether this terribly lackluster entertainment is the price you pay for things like no one having to go bankrupt for medical care. 

We're suffering through and reporting back on House Hazards, available to stream on for free for Amazon Prime members.

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

Episode 34 - Y2K Survival Guide with Leonard Nimoy

New Year, New Nimoy!

We’re celebrating making it to 2019 by looking back on how we almost didn’t make it through 1999, and our guide on this journey is none other than Hollywood legend Leonard Nimoy.

Well, he starts out as our guide. Then he transports away for 20 minutes while some old prepper dude tells us about chemical toilets and stockpiling potted meat.

Thrill as we learn how lazy computer coders nearly destroyed civilization and turned us into a modern-day Atlantis (Leonard is certain Atlantis is a myth, but death ray technology is open for debate).

Brace yourself as the documentary wildly careens back and forth between insisting our doom is eminent and then assuring us pretty much nothing is going to happen, but then giving the prepper one last shot at telling us we’re screwed, but then here’s Leonard to reassure we’re all okay and hey, have you heard about Atlantis? It’s a myth.  

We're suffering through and reporting back on Y2K Family Survival Guide with Leonard Nimoy, available to stream on YouTube.

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

Episode 33 - Christmas for the Wealthy

So this is Christmas, and what have you done? If you're like the people who are the subject of this episode's documentary, you've spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on octopus bangles, mushroom-shaped USB keys, and ... crackers? 

Whether your budget is dozens of millions of dollars or just tens of millions of dollars, there's something here for anyone who wants to make sure they have the best super-rich Christmas possible.

Are you worried you'll envy these gifts and your Christmas will seem small and insignificant in comparison to this? Have no fear. These gifts are all pretty stupid. And speaking of stupid, we'll also share our own stories of Christmas gift mishaps and give our best advice on whether you should put a $500 ruby on something edible. (You shouldn't.)

Wait! Do you hear those jingle bells in the distance? That can only mean the arrival of Werner Claus! He's got a sleigh full of existential angst and Netflix trial accounts for all the girls and boys so they can watch his volcano documentary.

Happy Holidays and a Very Merry Super True Stories Christmas! 

We're suffering through and reporting back on Christmas for the Wealthy, available to stream from Amazon Prime.

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

This episode also features "Jingle Bells" by Podington Bear and "We Collect Shiny Things" by Blue Dot Sessions.

Episode 32 - Madonna: Truth or Dare

You Expressed Yourself, assured us that our podcast was in Vogue, and so we got Into the Groove to Justify Your (My) Love.

That's right, we're suffering through and reporting back on Madonna: Truth or Dare!

Like a Virgin, we watched this documentary for the very first time, and though we were often bored, we did Live to Tell you just how scarred we are by this experience and whether our parents were right to try to keep us away. (Huh. I guess the "Like a Virgin" thing applies to that whole last sentence.)

Witness the smugness of Warren Beatty, the awkward charm of Kevin Costner, and the boredom and pretentiousness of Madonna herself. Thrill along the way as we examine which movies legendary film critic Roger Ebert thought were slightly better and slightly worse than Madonna: Truth or Dare. (We're in talks with Milton Bradley to bring you the home game in 2019!)

This episode would not exist without generous support from these friends of our podcast who made this dream a reality. Each of you, please don your cone bra and Take a Bow!

Cate Cullen, Chris Moree, Chad Drac, and Taryn Coleman

If you enjoy our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, or tell a friend!

Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album

Madonna: Truth or Dare is available to rent on YouTube or purchase on DVD from Amazon. But we recommend you just watch the trailer on YouTube and not subject yourself to the full film, despite what Ebert thinks.