This is not the gritty post-apocalyptic Lindsay Lohan reboot featuring Patrick Stewart we had hoped for, but the claws are definitely out!
This is Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club, the beachiest, Greekiest, and weakiest (just go with it) reality show we've ever seen. Thanks, MTV!
Thrill as you witness interchangeable hot people take off their shirts and do interchangeable hot things while a couple 30-somethings who should not be in management encourage everyone to be their hottest and most interchangeable best.
Also featuring Pannos, the lamest Avengers supervillain, and guest starring Lindsay Lohan's brand (whatever the heck that is).
We're suffering through and reporting back on the first episode of Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club, currently available to stream for free on YouTube if you look hard enough.
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Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album